Relationships Exist for Healing

Relationships exist for healing; that is their purpose.  The Spiritual Warrior must clearly  understand what they are working on in a given relationship, whether it is with family, lovers, friends, business associates or even a nemesis.  There may be multiple aspects to the relationship, but there will always be one or two major issues to be healed.  It is important to realize I am not talking about healing the relationship, but about you healing yourself.

Rarely do you see relationships that are equal.  Generally, one person has more awareness or spiritual seniority than the other.  The more spiritually senior individual has usually worked through more of their programming, and let go of more of the pictures previously controlling them.  The more charged pictures you have, the more issues there are, and the more you will be operating off of them.  Essentially, the more charged pictures you can release, the higher your vibration will become.  Relationships will continually highlight issues and offer another higher level from which to work.  It is quite amazing that people can go through a whole lifetime without ever acknowledging what their significant relationships were about.

Unfortunately, people do not always take the opportunity to do their healing.  They may be in a relationship with just the "right" person to work through a particular issue, but instead of doing the healing, which would require them to look at themselves, they go into battle.  Some individuals will battle with a significant other for a whole lifetime.  They stay in the relationship because they have not yet released their charged pictures.  When you consciously chose a relationship you intend to use for healing, it is limitless on how far you can go.  Some relationships end once the main picture has been released.  Others can carry on because, if you are conscious, you can continue using the relationship in all sorts of ways to do further spiritual development.  In some of the old scriptures, they talk about the "yoga of  relationships" as being the most difficult yoga practiced.  Relationships can stay in battle mode forever, or they may split up if either one or both of the parties involved chooses not to do their healing.  This is not always the case, but often if one person is unprepared to move forward, and the other is committed to healing and change, it becomes difficult to stay together.  This is often the root cause of separation.  If both people are truly committed on some level in change and healing, they can work at having the relationship continue.  The contrary is also common.  When both people are in total resistance to change; they simply stay together, the unconscious  agreement in the relationship is "we are going to stay stuck together".  It can be a difficult situation but people will continue this way for long periods of time.  This is not, however, the path of the Spiritual Warrior.
 
It is usually the fear of looking at or healing a picture that gets in the way of relationships working for one or both people.  When we start to look at our relationships from a place of clarity, it can be quite an exciting vision, or sometimes a rude awakening.  Remember that you establish personal connections, or what is often referred to as chemistry, through matching pictures and karma.  This chemistry is sometimes mutual and sometimes one-sided.  If you are conscious, then you can use the relationship to heal the issues.

This relationship dynamic can work incredibly well if you are prepared to use it rather than go into resistance.  It is actually an excellent way of doing healing.  The spiritually classic idea of being a monk meditating alone on the mountaintop is only one path to awareness.  Being with other people lights up your core issues, in fact, living a lifetime in Western modern society is a challenging and effective way to do deep spiritual work.
 
The greater your awareness of the actual purpose of a relationship, the more you can use it to do your healing.  The more you own your part in the situation and acknowledge it is your creation, the more quickly you can move forward.  Remember we often create challenging situations because that is where the healing happens.  If you are in a fantasy universe where no one lights up your issues, it is easy not to work on your healing.  It would be like treading water instead of walking the spiritual path.  People who light us up are like sparring partners, and they are to be appreciated because they rarely rest.  You may be tired, but there they are and you say, "OK it is time to get neutral!"  Remember you light them up too.  You are also their drill sergeant.  It is by no means a one-way street.  The question is how much can you use it?  It is a very rich resource. 

There are many reasons why friendships, intimate loves, and other types of relationships exist, and many reasons why they end.  If one person in the relationship is not willing to blow through the pictures, they may not want the other person around because they make them too aware of their own issues.  Another possibility is both people have blown the pictures, and there really isn't anything else left to do.  You have worked through the piece, either  consciously or unconsciously.  You have learned the lesson that person brought to you and so they fade away.  There is also the possibility that you light each other up so much, that one or both is ill prepared to deal with it, so one of you breaks off the relationship.  This is like signing up for a class that is over your head.
 
Some of the most intense relationships we have do not involve the ones we love, but the ones we dislike.   A nemesis is the person in your life you simply cannot stand.  You hope you never see them again, and then they show up in the grocery store.  Nemeses are wonderful.  I think it would be great to have a “National Nemesis Day” where we honour the people in our lives that light us up and drive us crazy, pushing us to do our healing.  On that day we would see adversarial world leaders hugging saying, "Thank you for lighting my pictures up, you do it so well". 

The amazing thing is you are usually more similar than different from your nemesis, and this is the reason they are your nemesis.  It is really quite an intimate relationship.  We all know the opposite of love is indifference, not hate.

Love thy enemy.  If you cannot see their side, it is because there is charge around it for you.  Be neutral with your spiritual trainer.  Relationships exist for healing… always.  Remember the Spiritual Warrior transcends the emotion and looks at what the connection is about and then does the healing.  To whatever degree you are using the difficult relationship, you can  probably use it some more.  What a blessing and what an achievement it is when you become neutral with that person because it follows that you are getting more neutral with the piece.  Just imagine if this tool was actually used in the world instead of aggression and fear and all that it encompasses.
 
The Spiritual Warrior always strives to choose consciousness.  Experience and enjoy the relationship, but understand its ultimate purpose is healing.  Relationships happen for a reason, all of them, be they intense and all encompassing or just a casual connection.

- Scott Robinson