There is a contract or agreement attached to every human relationship, however casual or complex, as well as to every relationship between a being in a body and a being out-of-body. We are making agreements and contracts all the time, every day throughout our lives. Many of these contracts or agreements are unconscious. It is both possible and desirable, however, to bring more and more of these agreements into consciousness.
Every casual relationship is founded on an agreement. Say, for example, you play tennis with someone once a week. You have a schedule to play a game with that person on a regular basis, but what is the arrangement really about? When you play tennis, are you talking about spirituality and the contract is about you giving your partner spiritual information? Or maybe you discuss your life and other people, and the contract is focused on mutual support. There are some unpleasant possibilities, as well. When you're playing tennis, does the person throw energy at you, abuse you and invalidate you the whole time? Is the contract then about weekly invalidation?
The contract between a parent and child is a more complex one. There is an agreement made between mother and child, for the mother, a being-in-body, to provide a body for a being out-of-body. This is often an unconscious agreement, but one can make it conscious, and thus choose what being will be the child. We make all kinds of contracts, and many are not from our highest integrity. Why would we make a contract like that? It is usually because we want to work through say, an abusive relationship, so that we can get to the other side and no longer need that lesson.
Relationship contracts carry a lot of fine print: parts may be conscious, and certain elements unconscious. When you're looking at contracts, you must look at the conscious part of the contract as well as the unconscious part. This requires a lot of neutrality because some of the contracts you entered into may not be what they appear. I was working with a friend and our conscious contract was, "We will work on certain projects together." Now, another part of the contract I had agreed to unconsciously was I would allow my friend to ground through me and I would support him spiritually on an ongoing basis. The latter was not part of our business arrangement, but I had agreed to it unconsciously. So that is what happened for a long time until I noticed what was going on, and changed that part of the agreement.
Creating a contract can be very much like "ironing out" any legal contract where the terms go back and forth. You add terms, you take terms out, until you have something you can both agree upon or that you can both live with. In order to be conscious about all the terms of a contract, you must be neutral, only then are you able to look at them from a clean place. Sometimes you strike agreements that work for you, good ones, healthy ones, or balanced ones, and sometimes you don't. Sometimes they're really lopsided, and one person is getting a lot more than the other. Know that you can always break contracts and create new ones.
First, decide how you want to change the contract, but realize the other person in the relationship may go away if the terms of the contract that they want no longer exist. When you clean up contracts, you are making a very clear statement. You can either delete what you no longer want, or destroy the whole agreement, and just rewrite it the way you want it.
You have to be very conscious with yourself, that you are changing this contract. You can hold the contract up for the other person to see and say, "This is the relationship I'm prepared to have with you. Are you prepared to have this one with me? Do you agree?" It is essential to pay attention to what the other person has to say. S/he might agree, or s/he may say "No way," because all those terms that you just took out of there, they're the ones s/he wanted the most. Remember you need to be clear with your side. If you let your side go unconscious, then you might unconsciously allow other points to be written onto it that you are not aware of. Stay conscious with it. What's the deal? What's the contract? Stay clear with it.
It is important to look at the contracts on a very basic level first and then the fine print. There are often many parts of the contract that are never said and even masked as something else. For example, a woman is in a relationship with a man and they have kids. In this contract, the woman does the childcare and the man makes the money. On the surface it is an even trade, but when you look a little deeper the contract reads, “making money is more important than childcare and it is not equal”. The man has more power and control in the relationship because the contract says he does. On an unconscious level she agreed to this, she is giving a large part of her energy and power away to him, the contract alternatively could read, “these are equal jobs and the money and decisions will be equally assessable and controlled”. Whatever the situation is in your life, on some level you agreed to it and signed an unconscious energy contract. By bringing these contracts into consciousness one can truly be aware, clear and in a state of personal power. Look at your contracts, be real with them, decide what you want, and do what you need to do with the contract to live a life of clarity as Spirit having a human experience.
