When I began the Lightwork Level 7 Apprenticeship program almost 3 years ago I knew I was in for major changes. I contemplated starting a blog called Metamorphosis because I knew the process of growth I would go through in this program would leave me in a state I could barely perceive going into it. Would a caterpillar know it can one day be a butterfly, or does it just feel hungry and sleepy and wonder why? The funny thing about change is it sometimes creeps up on you, slowly, almost in-perceivable. That is one reason having milestones like completing a program at Lightwork are helpful – an opportunity to look at where you've come from and where you are now. Also, sometimes it takes an outside eye to point out your changes that have happened so imperceptibly you barely noticed they happened at all. I am grateful to my Lightwork community – a powerful team of butterflies.

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Lightwork recently completed our first ever Winter Light Week.  Lightwork Productions is a large part of any event at Lightwork, always there to light the candles and assist however is needed.  This was the new and revised version of our long running "Winter Retreat" and was hosted for the first time here in Vancouver. We had fun creating a sacred week of healing.  Having a new space to play in, so to speak, means there is more room to be creative and come up with some beautiful additions. Behind the scenes, Lightwork Productions was preparing for the Winter Light Week for several months.  Being in production mode means dedication to having details be conscious, and within that consciousness is Spirit.  

- Jeanine Longley

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Ocean Eyes

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You are not the personality.  You are not your thoughts.  You are Spirit. Even when your analyzer churns away constantly, and you are fully identified with your thoughts, it’s still not who you are.
 
When the analyzer is used for its highest purpose, it is like a computer that gets turned on, processes some thoughts and then turned off again.  For many people though, the computer doesn’t get turned off.  It runs all the time, never resting.  And what it does most of the time is worry.
 
As spiritual warriors we want to know the content of our thoughts.  Often there’s something cycling through all day long; it may be subtle, it may be loud, but it is there, the thing you are currently worried about.  This thing may be partially hidden, or it could be a big concern, either way, it is important to be aware of these thought patterns. 
 
You, as Spirit, can notice your thoughts from the centre of your head.  It’s the analyzer that becomes fixated on the dilemma:  there’s a problem, and you need to fix it, or it was a problem and needs to be fixed, or it will definitely turn into a problem, so you’d better figure it out now.  For the analyzer, it’s all basically one big problem to be solved.
 
Pay attention to times when there is absolutely no worry, just carefree ease, and you may notice the analyzer jumps in with a message that you are in a dangerous situation.  It will tell you if you don’t stay on guard and worry, you may find yourself in deep trouble.  There may even be an edge of panic attached to the worry.
 
No matter what activity you are involved in, even enjoyable ones such as lunch out with a friend, your analyzer will be churning away in the background.  It will remind you not to forget the important thing to worry about.  Perhaps you go a few moments without thinking about it, but soon enough, the analyzer is sure to jump in with reasons why letting go of this thing is not a good idea.  It will tell you the ease you are experiencing is not real, because life is not easy and, most importantly, you absolutely cannot let go of this thing!  It can be relentless.
 
You can explore this for yourself.  Allow something you are currently worried about to pop up.  Let it be the first thing that comes up without editing.  It can be a big worry, like how you’re going to pay the rent, or something minor like your tires need air soon.  Your analyzer has a million of these ready to go, so let this be easy.
 
Notice the worry, and remember the worry is not you.  From the centre of your head, allow yourself to look at the worry from a neutral place.  Notice the quality of the worry.  What does worry feel like in your body?  What is the sensation of worry?  Say hello to it.  What is the anatomy of the worry?  What is the effect on your body?  Let some words to describe it come up.  How much is this worry there?  Is it 24/7 or just certain times?  Do you know what triggers it?  Is it in the background or the foreground?  Stay in the centre of your head as you look at this.
 
Remember worry is a body-senior phenomenon, which means your body is running the show.  This can feel like a version of a minor hell.  Your body was never meant to be in charge.  You, as Spirit, are meant to direct the human experience.  This is spiritual-seniority, and it is always possible even when the worry wants to take over.
 
No matter how dramatic the worry, I am here to tell you the worry is not you.  It is not even yours.  It affects you profoundly and feels familiar because you’ve held on to it your entire adult life.  Perhaps it began when you were a child.  You may be more familiar with the state of worry than anything else in your life.  The analyzer might tell you this worry is important, it’s older than your current relationship and the place you’re living in.  Combined!  It has become your identity.  You have become this worry.
 
This is programming.  It is foreign energy in your space.  You’ve been programmed with something, you took on the foreign energy, and now it is sitting in your space.  It is not real and yet it’s been generating worry ever since.  When you are spiritually-senior, it gets less and perhaps disappears.  When you meditate it most likely goes away.  But watch for those in between times when you are taking out the recycling, or looking for your keys, and the worry returns.  Because of course, you don’t ever want to forget about this dangerous thing hovering just around the corner!  Or whatever your version of all this is.  Notice that thing.
 
As you notice the worry, stay senior to it. Don’t buy into the message.  Watch how it tries to control you.  Feel your body and see what this message does.  Perhaps you wake up in the morning and feel great.  And then, oh… there’s that, that thing that isn’t right.  For many, this thing is about finances.  For others, it is always about their intimate relationship.  It can be anything.  What is the piece of programming that generates the worry?
 
We want to distill the worry down to a clear point:  What is the essence of it?  What sits at the core of your most worrisome thought?  Is it around survival?  Having a place to sleep at night?  Is it a safety issue?  What are the components when you look closely and take it apart?  Remember to stay spiritually-senior as you do this. 
 
What happens when there are a few of these various worries backed up and churning away?  Stress.  Stress occurs when a number of worries build up, and take over the thought patterns.  It has become so common, many of us assume it is the natural state of our body.  It is not. 
 
As you continue to sit with the worry, keep in mind the original programming may appear different than the thing you are looking at.  The thing you are worried about could actually be a creative version of the original programming.  Your parents may have told you there wasn’t enough money for you to get new sneakers even though yours had holes.  In the adult version of this, your thoughts turn to worry when your car breaks down.  Both point to survival in their own way.  As spiritual warriors, we always want to know what the original wound was.  In this example you were told your needs couldn’t be met.  As an adult, you then worry if your car breaks down, you won’t get to work, you’ll lose your job, and you won’t be able to pay the rent – your needs won’t be met.  Same wound, different story.
 
The worry is always rooted in a core picture.  This is a piece of programming affecting how you view the world.  It becomes your reality unless you see the picture and move it out of your space.  The worry is the surface version of it, and it can always be traced back to the changed core picture if you look closely at it.  Most likely it was one or both of your parents passing on their wound, though it could be someone else.  This is the programming and this is what will continue to generate worry, until you are ready to work with it.  We want to track the worry right back to the root.  What is the source of your current worry?
 
Your job as Spirit is to be bigger than the analyzer.  The analyzer tries to hold onto the worry yet it’s very important for you, as Spirit, to take the authority, trump it, and draw the energy out.  Make the connection between the worry and the core piece of programming and release it out of your personal space.  It doesn’t belong there.  It is foreign energy and it affects everything you do, and most importantly, you don’t have to live with this worry.  It is not you.  The worry is not yours.  You can draw it out and begin to experience freedom from this worry.
 
This is an important aspect of the work of a spiritual warrior.  It is important to track and heal anything limiting reality.  Change your reality.  Stop playing the worry game and choose ease.  Ease is your natural state.  Choose ease.